Monday, September 29, 2008
Half Sister
A couple had been married for many years, and their son had gotten old enough to date. One day the boy brought a girl over to diner. The mother was thrilled with her son's choice and couldn't wait for the wedding. However, the father was upset and, eventually, the boy asked, “Dad, why don't you seem happy with her. Mom likes her a lot.”
The father explained, “No son, there's nothing wrong with the girl. It's just that I cheated on your mother a long time ago, and the girl you've been dating is my daughter by that woman.”
So the boy dumped her and found himself another girl. Again, he brought her home to the mother's delight, but the father again told him this girl was actually his half-sister. The boy lost his temper and told his mother what his father had said.
Furious, the mother shouted, “Don't listen to him, sweetheart! He isn't even your father!”
The father explained, “No son, there's nothing wrong with the girl. It's just that I cheated on your mother a long time ago, and the girl you've been dating is my daughter by that woman.”
So the boy dumped her and found himself another girl. Again, he brought her home to the mother's delight, but the father again told him this girl was actually his half-sister. The boy lost his temper and told his mother what his father had said.
Furious, the mother shouted, “Don't listen to him, sweetheart! He isn't even your father!”
Bond..James bond...
On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
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> Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
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> James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style,
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> "......James Bond."
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>
>
>
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> Then Bond asks: "And you?"
>
>
>
>
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> Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
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>
>
>
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> Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
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> Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
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> Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
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> Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
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> Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
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> Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba
>
>
> Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
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> Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda
>
>
> Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."
>
>
>
>
>
> Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James
Bond"
>
>
>
>
>
> Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
>
>
>
>
>
> James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style,
>
>
> "......James Bond."
>
>
>
>
>
> Then Bond asks: "And you?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba
>
>
> Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda
>
>
> Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."
>
>
>
>
>
> Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James
Bond"
Can u figure out what is common???
Can u figure out what is common???
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
Give It Another Try….
OK… Here You Go… Hope You Didn’t Cheat.
This Is Cool.
SCROLL DOWN
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
Give It Another Try….
OK… Here You Go… Hope You Didn’t Cheat.
This Is Cool.
SCROLL DOWN
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
What were u thinking...
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, doc, it’s
like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen,
the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still
nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?” The old
man replied,
“Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn’t get the jar open.”
HaHaHa - What were you thinking?
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, doc, it’s
like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen,
the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still
nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?” The old
man replied,
“Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn’t get the jar open.”
HaHaHa - What were you thinking?
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.jpg)
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How to answer an interview...
A lot of people know how to write a resume and talk their way into an
interview. But when they get into the make or break dialogue, they
stumble upon tough questions. Below, is some advice on approaching the
tough questions that interviewers like to throw at job applicants:
Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were underutilized.
What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can’t concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all
forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I’m a workaholic. I just don’t know when to put
down my work.
You don’t seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you’ll
stay here any longer than you’ve stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only
competent employees..
What you should say: I’m at a point in my career where I am tired of
moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term
enterprise, where I can make a contribution.
For all those of u aiming for job switches……………
How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday, unless I’m out of clean underwear.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only
constant is change. I thrive on it.
How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my face.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the
workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.
What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don’t have to drag my sorry ass out of
bed to kiss yours.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a
difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable
enterprise.
What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.
That word is not in my vocabulary.
Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine, considering what kind of a malicious
person he is.
What you should say: I don’t think I’d call him a boss; he’s been more
of a mentor to me.
Do you ever get angry with co-workers?
Real answer: I don’t get angry, I get even.
What you should say: Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker
not pulling his weight, goofing off or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do
get angry with co-workers.
Can I contact your references?
Real answer: Sure, but they won’t know who I am.
What you should say: Some of them are out of the country right now.
Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.
interview. But when they get into the make or break dialogue, they
stumble upon tough questions. Below, is some advice on approaching the
tough questions that interviewers like to throw at job applicants:
Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were underutilized.
What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can’t concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all
forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I’m a workaholic. I just don’t know when to put
down my work.
You don’t seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you’ll
stay here any longer than you’ve stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only
competent employees..
What you should say: I’m at a point in my career where I am tired of
moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term
enterprise, where I can make a contribution.
For all those of u aiming for job switches……………
How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday, unless I’m out of clean underwear.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only
constant is change. I thrive on it.
How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my face.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the
workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.
What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don’t have to drag my sorry ass out of
bed to kiss yours.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a
difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable
enterprise.
What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.
That word is not in my vocabulary.
Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine, considering what kind of a malicious
person he is.
What you should say: I don’t think I’d call him a boss; he’s been more
of a mentor to me.
Do you ever get angry with co-workers?
Real answer: I don’t get angry, I get even.
What you should say: Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker
not pulling his weight, goofing off or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do
get angry with co-workers.
Can I contact your references?
Real answer: Sure, but they won’t know who I am.
What you should say: Some of them are out of the country right now.
Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.
TELEGRAM !!
TELEGRAM #1
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:
“Father, your daughter has been successful in BED.”
*********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: “I wish you were here.”
The message received by wife: “I wish you were her.”
*********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue,she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as: “Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady.”
********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #4
A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party.
So he goes to order a birthday cake.
The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says: Let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”.
The salesman asks, “How do you want me to put it?”
The man says, Well put “You are not getting older”, at the top and
“You are getting better” at the bottom.
The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:
“You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom”.
*********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent’s house in Delhi.
When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to end a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.
It was written: ‘Sethji aaj mar gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye).
**To love someone is nothing. To be loved by someone is something. To love and be loved by someone is everything.**
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:
“Father, your daughter has been successful in BED.”
*********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: “I wish you were here.”
The message received by wife: “I wish you were her.”
*********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue,she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as: “Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady.”
********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #4
A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party.
So he goes to order a birthday cake.
The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says: Let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”.
The salesman asks, “How do you want me to put it?”
The man says, Well put “You are not getting older”, at the top and
“You are getting better” at the bottom.
The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:
“You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom”.
*********************************************************************
TELEGRAM #5
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent’s house in Delhi.
When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to end a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.
It was written: ‘Sethji aaj mar gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye).
**To love someone is nothing. To be loved by someone is something. To love and be loved by someone is everything.**
Monday, September 22, 2008
Camels Amazing
The camels are the little white lines in the picture. The black you see are just the shadows!!!
Click to view larger image
Click to view larger image
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